Another day of catching up on Grey’s Anatomy, and I think I have successful decided that my life is horrible. I am crying and feeling sorry for myself, as well as relating to the show and feeling just crappy.

There are so many things I am unhappy with in my life, and every chance I get to make the change, I am not even sure where to start. I had 3 weeks of therapy and I feel they were helpful just in the fact that I had someone to talk to. I can honestly say that 90% of my issues are the fact that I have no one to talk to, like really talk to when I need to vent to someone, or discuss something with someone and not get their opinion back.

I have a toddler who refuses to be potty trained no matter what the situation I put him in is. I have tried several different tactics, but nothing is working. He is stubborn and absolutely ridiculous. My issue with this situation is I do not have the energy to deal with it, point blank, my depression is too elevated and uncontrolled to be able to keep him under control. Jeffery thinks everything is about him and that he is the center of attention, because he is the only child in the home and my mother spoils him rotten.

He sees no discipline and when I try to discipline him, he wants to hit and throw things OR begins to scream and cry- in this annoying “I can’t breathe” fashion. When he is told no, he screams and cries, when you don’t want to pay attention to him, he screams and cries. I am at my end of the rope and I cannot find a solution to the problem, when he is coddled by my mother.

I am a firm believer in each child is different and how you handle the child is going to be different. I don’t believe in corporal punishment, but I do believe that children need to be spanked if they need to be spanked. I understand the new laws, that spanking is considered abuse, but here is the thing. When you have a head strong child and time-outs don’t work anymore, and they want to scream and act a fool, what options do you have; allow them to abuse you and not defend yourself. What sounds right about that situation? NOTHING.

I am at the ending point where I do not know what else I can handle, my depression is extremely high, my anxiety is high, I am having “night sweats” and waking up with headaches where I am extremely fuzzy and dizzy. I cannot deal with these things alone and I have no one who really can help me.