Date 5/9/2023

I have been on “vacation” for about 9 days and frankly I need a vacation from my vacation. I haven’t had a moment of piece unless its 4am and I should be sleeping. I just wanted to have a decent day and have a day where I don’t have a headache or feel like I cannot get out of bed. Yet, that is all this last week has been. I need to order things to get my house in order, I need funds to make that happen. I can’t get my head wrapped around life at the present moment as always. I have appointments to make and I just don’t have the energy to get things done either. I need to get my head back on track and get things back in order. My one two steps are not functioning correctly for me to continue like this anymore.

One day, I will need to be okay, and frankly today is not that day, but I am trying. I am trying. That is what I need to tell myself. I need to keep myself positive and get my life back in the place I want it to be. I have a long list of things I want “to-do” and a longer list of things that “need to be done” I just don’t have the strength or the mindset to do it anymore. I need to get back into therapy and get medications to manage my brain function again.

I am trying to manage all my memories, ideas, thoughts, and everything that my brain is processing daily and some days I can’t handle what I feel or think.

This is how my brain functions daily for me.